Victory...postponed?

That's right folks. Final Fantasy Race 2007 is over. Why? Well let me tell you.

Fuck this game.

We have raced our fair share of FF before, and while at times those games could be frustrating, they were always fun. This FFXII is an exception in the extreme. I'll grant that maybe if we hadn't tried to play it all at once, I might think otherwise, but this game just stopped being fun sometime around 10:00 last night.

That is not to say that we didn't enjoy FF Race this year. On the contrary, this was in many ways the most fun of all. We had the most new faces this year, in fact the most people over all, we ate reasonably, didn't drink too much cola, etc. but all in spite of the actual game itself. We are even both prepared to stay up for hours more playing some other game, as long as it isn't this one.

Maybe we'll try it again another year, or maybe instead we'll nail one foot to the floor each and have an actual race. Whichever will be more fun I guess.

Alex

P.S. Undefeated!

Thirtieth Hour

I think I may actively dislike this game. All of the other ones had some level of misery involved, but at least they wee a little fun. This one isn't fun at all at this point. I remain as stubbornly determined to play as always, but I won't pretend to enjoy myself.

Geeeeeeeeeez!

I've basically been at the same bit for several hours now, and I'm still not sure how to pass it. Good shit there are still 18 hours to go.

Twenty-eighth Hour

Both stuck on the exact same monster. Son of a B.

On the bright side, morning sunshine brings Cheerios to my bowl. Cheerios in my bowl translates quite nicely into Cheerios in my belly. Hoop de doop de doop!

I wish someone would cast sleep on me.

Twenty-sixth Hour

I stopped having fun hours ago.

We were nearly falling asleep when

Dan Wiebe,

our Saviour arrived to rejuvenate us. Our previous guests left at about 5:00, so the last two hours have been very sleepy.

We have made zero progress in the last 3 hours. None. It seems like we are nowhere near strong enough to pass the next bit.

Here is how I feel: moaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn.

So there.

Twenty-fourth Hour

A full 24 hours complete.

Oh my. I've caught back up to Sandy, but my head feels so full. Full of mush. Mushy mushy mush. I think penises and poop are way funnier than I usually do.

It's really starting to look like we may not finish the game by the deadline imposed by Sandy employer.

24 more hours to go...

Champion!

Twenty-second Hour, For Serious

Ladies and gentlemen, Erica Jacobson.

I don't even know what to say any more. I'm tired, and it's manifesting as me not liking this game. I'll have to check again when I'm less tired. Maybe I'll like it again later. I don't know anything. Death to black chocobos! Death to black chocobos!

I'm a little behind. Gotta fantasy!

Twenty-second Hour

hi. you guys are stupid. but that's okay. let's play chess instead.
love fantasy fellas.

Guest Post! Dale - 21st hour

Today I slept through my alarm and missed the bus. I was late for work and I'm already on probation because of the incident last week... I would say that I care, but it ended up being the best thing that has ever happened to me. Had I been on time, I would have caught the RIGHT bus and I wouldn't have met the love of my life. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. When she laughs, it's like hearing angels. I didn't have the guts to talk to her, so I don't even know her name.. but I know with time, we will be together. I bet she would make a great wife someday...
Work sucked as usual. I think I'm going to quit soon anyway.. forget those jerks! Who needs them. LOLOLOL
Anyway.. tonight I am meeting up with Jen and Tom. I think we're going to check out that new Potter movie. Man, that Hermani is a total fox. I sometimes wish I knew magic... that would sure be great! I wonder what I would do if I knew magic.. LOL.. but that's a post for another time hahahah lol.
Anyway... my mom's calling me down for dinner. I think we're having Mac n Cheese with hot dogs. I know it's dorky, but it's pretty much the best food EVER.
I think I'll post the pictures I promised of my new haircut tonight. I think it looks pretty good.. kinda like Leo's hair in Titanic.
tAlk 2 u aLLz laYtuR
-dALe

By the way.. I really really really reeally really hope I see that girl from the bus again soon. I SWEAR I'll talk to her this time. FOR REAL!

Guest blog at hour 20

Hey sports fans!

Well here I am at Casa Fantasy. I call this apartment Casa Fantasy now because that is what it really feels like. Don't believe me? There is only one way to find out. I suggest visiting these two warriors duke it out with strange creatures right from their living room. I just saw Sandy fight off a gigantic turtle without a head!!!! And Alex is figthing off a giant frog with horns and what seems to be a triceritops crossed with a dog.

Yes I am that amazed (see photo below).

We are coming up on 24 hours and the mood is quite somber (see photo below). But don't let that scare you away. The excitement is building. You can feel the tension building up as it gets later and later into the night, and from what I've understood Sandy is slightly ahead. As I ponder going home soon, I remember that watching video games is a lot of fun! As a video game watching veteran (thanks slightly to an older brother that hogged video games, and the inability to play video games well myself - I tend to be a video game watcher), video game watching can be fun. You have to imagine yourself playing the video game and hoping that maybe they will let you play even for a moment. I don't think that will be happening today but maybe, just maybe...

I recommend that if you do come and pay a visit. The two players like treats. But treats are not neccessary as the two players like company even more. People have to remind them of how cool they are. Which they are! Come on? It's a Final Fantasy marathon! This will be going another day, maybe two...maybe more...

I am going to stop writing now because I am missing all the action.

See you here.

-Gustavo

Twentieth Hour

Fear not sweet fans of mine, I have not gone mad. Looking back at my sixteenth hour blog, I realize that it may have left a few of you fearing for my sanity. It is intact, I assure you.

This game is frustrating at times, and even after twenty hours it is still practically tie-game.


But as you can see, I remain confident.

Eighteenth Hour

God dammit.

Sixteenth Hour

A have acheived stage retarded.

All grumpiness has for now passed. While I have a lead of a few minutes, I am liable to laugh at anything and everything. This is the closest to drunk anyone will ever see me. Oh, and my feet. Our hot hot hot apartment is... hot.

Sandy is being eaten by a wall.



Chambambampion!

Guest blogger Jason here (that's me to the left wondering what I'm doing). As i entered the haze filled room two warriors stood before me one eating the saltiest of guacamoles. The other, not. From a third party perspective, they are in for the long haul. I did indeed bring sweet gifts to be used with the greatest of care. To Sandy I gave our brightest star. The alchoholic energy drink. To Alex I gave the rootiest of beers. 4 litres to be exact. The game itself is strange and wonderful to me. This is definitely not your grandparents Final Fantasy. There are strangely attractive non-human female characters (Fran), and strangely attractive male humes (Balthier). It is a tight battle but it seems as thought Alex is pulling away slightly. One false move however and Sandy is poised to swoop in and take over the lead. Good luck to you both.
-Jason "the greatest final fantasy race watcher ever" Pankratz

Fourteenth Hour

Precious Jason Panratz has arrived to perform his role: to watch. He is incredible

Also, brand new to FF Race, Mr. Derek Norton. Welcome my friend. Soon you too shall be in my thrall.

A little dinner has done me well. This hour has gone very smoothly, and my fans find me yet again with a comfortable lead. One might argue that Sandy is of slightly higher level, but this has shown in the past to be of little consequence.

In short, for me, truimph awaits. For Sandy, only a broken heart and soiled shorts.

Twelfth Hour

A minor setback this hour. One of my party members has turned out to be a traitor, and was casting fire spells on the rest of my party. Rest assured, this has been dealt with.

I've caught back up to Sandy now, so we are, yet again holding hands as it were. I've been managing my time well, by making guacamole during cutscenes. Genius, I know. This guacamole will be as delicious as my victory is sure to be.

And like victory, Sandy shall have none.

Tenth Hour

Ten hours complete. It's gone by in a blink. We're still pretty much at the same place in the game, but as discussed earlier, I have completed a crtical sit-down operation.

Ideally, you want to do all bathroom breaks, food prep etc. when you don't have the sound turned on on your TV. We alternate with sound every hour, and when you have your sound on, it makes it so much easier to concentrate on the game. Hence, you don't want to use your sound time for anything other than playing the game.

My body is fully in daytime mode now, and I can barley tell that I only got four hours on sleep last night. Sandy is faring well for now as well, with only marginally more sleep than me.

Enjoy is while it lasts, sleep-whore.

Perhaps we will see some visitors soon, as evening approaches. Surely my fans ache to be near their champion!

Eighth Hour

I took a ride on an airship. Hur d-dur dur dur dur d-dur!

I am in the lead again, by some half hour. This means I can afford to perform a much needed sit down operation.

If I have time at the time of my next posting, I shall discuss the strategy of bowel movements.

Sixth Hour

We are neck and neck. Both at the exact same point, with roughly the same amount of experience. This is the norm this early in the race. Lots of back and forth. Eventually, much more forth for me, your champion!

Time for a pee. I now have the power of Longsword at my disposal.

Fourth Hour

Well, between us we have five deaths. This is many more deaths in the first four hours than we've ever had in any previous race. However there is a subtle difference.

While Sandy's deaths serve only to amuse me and remind him of his impending loss, my deaths are all efforts to test the game. Experiments if you will. I seek to explore the possibilitles of the game. A noble endeavor if I do say so myself.

I have taken the lead. Sandy was held up hollering at palace guards like an idiot rooster whilst I stole away into the waterways.

Second Hour

Off too a good start I'd say. Looks like this game is going to be big. Massive 3D environments means that Sandy will after a few hours become rather befuddled.

I had my first hour with the sound on, and it was good. This is the first race we've had where the game has voice acting. It's really difficult to focus on your own game when the sound on the other TV is on.

Victory remains assured, as always.

It Begins!

Battlestations! All hands on couch!

Some of you may wonder, how does your champion start off a victory. I'll tell you.

It begins with a bar of Zest. You must be a constant reminder to your foe of his filthy, filthy defeats. Next, four bowls of General Mills' delicious Cheerios for all of your daily needs. Cheerios are victory food, I assure you.

Check back here every two hours for updates. Sandy's blog updates in alternate hours.

Pre-game Preparations

7 hours until the gunshot sounds to signal the start of the race.

Some of you may wonder what goes into the "getting ready" for a Final Fantasy race. Well, that depends on how fearsome and bold a racer you are, or perhaps on how snivelling and feeble. For the latter, perhaps you prepare by drinking a warm glass of milk with honey. You can tuck yourself in at 10:00, and suck your little thumb until you fall asleep.

For those of us made of sterner stuff, maybe we decide maintain a sense of pride and dignity, by going out partying instead.



So I'm gonna go out to party now. See you in the AM!

32 Hours To Go

I had a premonition! Behold!



I think the guy on top is me. Also, I think the guy on the bottom is me too.

A little something for the fans

My adoring public,

I have created a facebook group for you, my loyal fans. It is a place where all of you, who I will call "The Lexies", can gather to discuss your favorite topics: My FF prowess, my opponent's lack thereof, or just how much more fun Final Fantasy is when you are watching me play it instead of playing it yourself.

Come, join us at the Lexi Nexus

50 hours? Please...

If what I have been hearing is true, then we may be able to enjoy 50 hours of Final Fantasy before my assured victory.

However, the game will last at most some 30-35 hours for Sandy before "Uncle" Slumber takes him gently by the hand to his White Van of Defeat, and takes what he knows is rightfully his.



Night night Sandy.

Alex

My Legacy: A Continuation Of Greatness

Behold!

Ladies and mostly gentlemen, it is I, your champion!

The time has come yet again my adoring fans. Time to ready your applause wearied hands to congratulate me on my fifth straight Final Fantasy Race victory. Only one week to go.

For those of you who have not heard of my prowess, or perhaps not of Final Fantsy Race at all, I will enlighten you.

Final Fantsy Race is a gladitorial event held once a year to celebrate the friendship of myself (your champion!) and Sandy (participant). It is just as its title implies. A race, also, Final Fantasy. First to finish the game in a single sittting takes home the prize. This year, the year of our lord 2007, is the fifth glorious race in a series of glorious races. My previous performances can be summed up nicely by this photo:




Race 1 (Summer 2003): Final Fantasy VI
Our first meeting was over Squaresoft's finest creation Final Fantasy VI (or Final Fantasy III for those who subscribe to the North American counting method). Played over 25 hours in the basement of the Taronno Family residence this was the most heavily attended FF Race to date. Some estimates have put the number of spectators at over 7, while more conservative estimates put the number at 7. Both competitors had previously played this particular FF extensively, and as such it was less a test of raw FF ability, and more a battle of strategy. In the end it was hard to say what exactly was the deciding factor but it could very well have been Sandy's neglect of the Atma Weapon, or my crucial descision to allow Strago to languish in thralldom. In the end the victor was of course myself, your champion!

Race 2 (April 2004): Final Fantasy VII
Sandy's second opportunity for participation was a far sorrier affair. Held at a fledgling Casa Ultimo, Sandy's inability to cope with the wonders of 3 dimensional environments, and the far longer game length (37 hours) proved to be the sweetest lullaby. He gave into temptation and attempted a cat nap of 40 minutes, which turned into a slumber of an hour and a half. He will tell you that he never slept that long, but he of course was not awake, so how would he know? In any case, a strategic nap of any length can only hinder when one's opponent most noble considers insomnia not disorder, but an option. Not surprisingly, Sandy slept through the ending, and to this day has never seen it.

Race 3 (December 2005): Final Fantasy IV
A race that barely bears mention. Again held in the Taronno basement, this FF Race was poorly attended by both Final Fantasy Fans, and the will of appoximately half of the participants. Particularly those participants who were (perhaps still are?) not championship material. This time, 22 hours proved too much for sleepyhead, who again missed the ending. At best, a hollow victory.

Race 4 (July 2006): Final Fantasy IX
A return to glory in 2006. This re-invigoration proved just the breath of fresh air for the ailing event. Held in the semi-outdoors and well attended, particularly by the current Final Fantasy Fan record holder Jason Vonkar Pankratz, as well as some new faces, this race proved to be nearly as long as 2004's offering. This time the improvement in graphics, as well the use of stimulants kept our second-favorite racer in the battle. However, in the end, Sandy's use of caffeine pills only payoff was to actually see the ending for once, to wallow in his sub-standard FFing.

Race 5 (August 2007): Final Fantsy XII
Which brings us to the present. What will surely be the greatest FF Race of all, is being held this time deep in the bowels of The Pammy, residence of Alex (your champion!) and some other guy. A new FF Race brings new questions. Will we finally see a 40 hour race? How victoriously victorious will I prove to be this year? How early will Sandy call his mommy to tuck him in? The answers to these questions forthcoming in this very blog!

Alex

P.S. For a more desperate and harried account of events, tune in here